Look at the colours you wear most often and see what they reveal about you. The analyses below are based on various psychological tests.

Red:
Red means danger, urgency, forbidden territory, embarrassment, the Communist and Socialist parties, and in China – marriage.

If you wear red, you are impulsive, excitable and energetic; you are ambitious and like things to happen quickly when you want them to; you like to be the best in everything you do; you may be slightly insensitive to other people’s feelings as you like to be the centre of attention; you are courageous and an extrovert, but don’t like it when you don’t get your own way; your nervous activity urges you to achieve results and be successful.

Pink:
If you wear pink, you are affectionate, sympathetic and understanding; you may lack willpower and show weakness when you cannot control affairs of the heart; you need support from others. You must learn to accept and love yourself and if you become more self-reliant, you will be more attractive to others.

Orange, peach or apricot:
You are competent, self-oriented and impatient; you are also independent, an organiser and self-motivated. Orange is the colour of creativity and practicality. You have high energy levels and can be restless; you have a forceful will and tend to be active and competitive. You are also excitable and can seek to dominate others.

Bright orange and burnt orange can make you feel frustrated and blocked. Try wearing peach, which will direct your energy in a more caring way.

Yellow:
Yellow represents jealousy and cowardice, but also means ‘sensational’.

If you wear this colour, you have an interesting and stimulating personality; you like to be active and involved in whatever is going on; you are lively and can cope well with life’s challenges.

Bright yellow represents spontaneity; it presses forward to the new, modern and developing. You may be searching for greater happiness, which implies some minor conflict in which release is needed.

Green:
Green stands for the countryside and anything environmentally friendly, but also things unripe, inexperienced or naïve.

Wearing green means you are a cautious person and not inclined to trust others easily; you are an observer in life, but do not wish to get involved more than you have to; a quiet life suits you best; you are kind and service-oriented.

If you wear blue-green, you need a peaceful environment, looking for release from stress, conflicts or disagreement. You take pains to control the situation and its problems by proceeding cautiously; you are sensitive with a fine eye for detail. Wearing pale yellow will help you develop a more optimistic attitude.

Blue:
Represents the sky and sea on a sunny day. But it also means sadness or depression, and the Conservative party.

Light blue:
If you wear light blue, you are creative, perceptive and sensitive; you have a good imagination and practical approach to life. This approach can be analytical, which is best used for problem solving. You like to do things in your own time and not be rushed; you need a secure and peaceful environment.

Navy blue:
You are intelligent, independent and have a great depth of feeling; you feel responsible for others and enjoy decision-making; you need tranquillity around you as well as tenderness, love and affection. You may suffer from stress owing to the lack of relaxation. Try wearing some blue-greens or greens to help improve your self-expression and overall health.

Violet:
Wearing violet means yours is a sensitive, compassionate nature so you can be easily taken advantage of and should be careful to pick your friends who are as sensitive as you. To be happy, work where you feel needed. Try wearing a colour with more red in it: this will boost your confidence and help to protect your vulnerability.

Purple:
In Ancient Rome, purple was the colour of rank, authority or privilege and remains a very ‘regal’ colour.

If you wear purple, you are very intuitive and have deep feelings and high aspirations; you are interested in the best of everything, including your friends. Lesser mortals do not interest you or enter into your scheme of things, except where necessary! Watch out that you do not become arrogant: try to make more time for listening.

White:
The colour of moral or spiritual purity, surrender, and historically, it meant reactionary or counter-revolutionary.

White contains all the other colours in the spectrum, showing that you have a positive, well-balanced and optimistic personality; you are highly individualist and can be a loner; you seek a simplified lifestyle, free from outside pressures.

You have chosen a simple and pure colour, but one that reaches out for recognition. You may be going through a transitional period with new ideas not yet taken from. Be open-minded and communicate, for with white, all things are possible.

Grey:
You are very much an individual; you give the impression that you are self-sufficient as you have excellent self-control and prefer to remain uninvolved. Those who wear grey have a tendency to isolate themselves, which can lead to loneliness. You may be passive because you feel stressed and overburdened.

You may need rest, relaxation and freedom from daily stress: try wearing some blue of the sea or green of the countryside. People who wear grey are often those who make judgements and can be good critics; those who lack judgement and struggle to form opinions should wear grey.

Brown:
Brown suggests an honest, down-to-earth person who likes a structured, supported lifestyle. A lover of the best things life has to offer, you are a sensuous type, appreciating good food, wine and company.

Brown is a protective colour, but you may be bottling up emotion or a secret that makes you retreat into your shell and fear the outside world, thus you feel protected by wearing brown or a muddy colour. There is a desire to be emotionally secure and accepted by everyone; you need to understand your self-worth and be more open-minded.

Black:
The very darkest colour due to the absence of or complete absorption of light, black represents disaster, despair, anger, hatred, tragedy and mourning.

If you wear black, you are strong-willed, opinionated and disciplined. You may be too inflexible and independent – watch out that these are not defence tactics; you may lack confidence in yourself and your own ability to handle life efficiently; it may be you have a little way to go to maturity and are using black to cloak yourself while you discover your true identity.

Wearing black on certain occasions shows you have control in yourself and communicates an authoritative image.

COLOUR ME BEAUTIFUL

I have just completed a week’s updated Colour Analysis & Image training with Colour Me Beautiful, and am proud to say that I am now a qualified Colour and Image Consultant with Colour Me Beautiful. This, I feel, is an excellent combination with my existing Life Coaching business and I would like to take this opportunity to share the wonderful Colour Me Beautiful’s concept with you.

Did you know that for more than 25 years, Colour Me Beautiful has been the world’s leading image consultancy? You may have heard of the phrase ‘Having your colours done’ which was mentioned by Bridget Jones’ Mum in Bridget Jones Diary, as well as people around you mentioning they have had their colours done.

So what does ‘Having your colours done’ really mean? Well, when you wear colour near your face, the light reflects upwards; this can cast either flattering tones or dark shadows, depending on the mix of the colour and your skin tone. The first step, when having your colours done, is to ascertain your dominant colouring type and discover the right colours for you. A Colour Me Beautiful Consultant (Such as myself) will work out your dominant colouring type by looking at your combination of hair colour, eye colour and skin tone, and then look for the following characteristics:

Do you have light hair & light eyes?
Do you have dark hair & dark eyes?
Does your hair have red tones?
Do you have grey tones to your hair?
Is your hair dark but your eyes light?
Are you a mixture of all?
Once this has been determined, your dominant colouring type will either be :

Light or Deep
Warm or Cool
Clear or Soft
But that’s not where it ends. The next step is to define the secondary characteristic – whether or not you have a warm or cool undertone to your skin. Warm skins have a yellow undertone, while cool skins are pinkish. For instance, take myself, my dominant colouring type is ‘Deep’, that is because I have dark hair and dark eyes. My secondary characteristic is ‘Warm’, that is because I have a yellow undertone to my skin. The suggested colours which are right for me are: Camel, Golden brown, Mahogany, Coffee brown, Olive, Evergreen, Salmon pink, Tomato red, Rust & Pumpkin to name but a few. I have a further 35 colours, which are too many to list here, which complement my colouring aswell.

How do you know if a colour is right for you?

Your face appears to be lit from underneath
Your skin appears smoother, fresher and younger; lines and blemishes are minimised
Your eye colour is enhanced
You notice YOU more than the colour
How do you know if the colour is wrong for you?

There are dark or coloured shadows around your chin and neck
Your complexion looks uneven in colour
The colour stands out more than you.
So there you go … a brief overview to the fascinating world of Colour Analysis. For further details of Colour Me Beautiful, please take a look at the website: www.colourmebeautiful.co.uk

If anyone would like to host a Colour Party, prices range from £40-£50 per person (depending on size of group) and includes a 30 colour fabric swatch wallet for each person.

Parties are a great way to learn your dominant colouring and what that means to the clothes and make-up you wear. Everyone will learn how to apply make-up and have the opportunity to try the exclusive Colour Me Beautiful range.

The time allocated to each person is 30 minutes and everyone receives their own wallet containing 30 fabric swatches as a guide for shopping. If you like the service, you can always trade up to a full Colour Consultation later.

Please contact me if you’re interested in hosting a party on the following number: 07875 931 650 or email pjcandjt@live.co.uk

I have been coming across quite a few people who are feeling down at the moment, and thought I would add this article about depression. Around 60-70% of adults will at some time experience symptoms of depression of enough intensity to affect their life. GP’s report that up to 50% of attendees may have some depressive symptoms, and about 5% have major depression. So what is depression?

Depression may present itself in various forms. The following symptoms can occur in varying proportions from one individual to another:

MOOD CHANGES are primary, shown as feelings of persistent sadness, of being down in the dumps, of hopelessness and helplessness. Anxiety and increased irritability are often present.

COGNITIVE CHANGES of various degrees of intensity are experienced, such as lack of concentration, confused thinking, indecision and difficulties with remembering. Typically the content of thought is very negative and pessimistic, people seeing themselves as inadequate or even as bad, finding their environment unfulfilling and their future bleak.

BIOLOGICAL CHANGES affect sleep, appetite, weight, sex-drive and the ability to enjoy usual activities. People often complain of aches and pains, or excessive fatigue and slowness of thinking and movement.

BEHAVIOURAL AND MOTIVATIONAL symptoms are characterised by inactivity, unwillingness to initiate activities, avoidance of work and social activities, crying and sighing.

CAUSES:
No single cause of depression has been identified and the consensus of opinion is that several factors can act together, for example, genetic vulnerability, family history, social vulnerability (loss of social support, isolation, socio-economic disadvantages) and psychological vulnerability involving a history of loss and disruptive childhood experiences. Often episodes of depression appear to be precipitated by major life events, such as the death of a loved one, divorce, financial difficulties or loss of job.

The common pathway of these several interacting factors can be both biochemical and psychological. In some depressions there is an imbalance in several brain chemicals. Psychological changes are more universal, the main features being a striking negative bias in the interpretation of events and in memory, and a predominance of dysfunctional or unhelpful attitudes regarding oneself and the world.

TREATMENTS:
During the past few years very effective treatments have been developed for depression. These include anti-depressant medication and short-term psychological treatments. Both theses approaches can provide relief from depression within 3-4 weeks and long lasting relief within 3-6 months.

PSYCHOLOGICAL THERAPIES:
Cognitive or cognitive-behavioural therapy has been the most extensively evaluated. It has been shown to be as effective as anti-depressant medication, but to be superior to medication in the prevention of relapse and recurence of illness.

Cognitive Therapy is structured and collaborative; patient and therapist work togehter on explicitly agreed goals. Different components of the therapy focus on thoughts as a means of alleviating low moods. Time may be spent on re-establishing previous activity levels. The sufferer learns to combat the negative style of thinking which maintains depression and to develop coping skills which help not only in acute episodes of depression, but also to face future difficulties and major events. Goals for change may involve:

A way of acting e.g. Being more outgoing

A way of feeling e.g. Being less scared and less depressed

A way of thinking e.g. Learning to problem solve or get rid of self defeating thoughts

A way of dealing with physical or medical problems e.g. Lessening back pain

A way of coping e.g. Training developmentally disabled poeple to care for themselves.

For more information, please visit www.babcp.com

During the start of the New Year most people make resolutions about lifestyle changes – mainly covering giving up smoking, starting an exercise programme, losing weight, starting healthy eating habits, coping with stress at work etc.

However, still filled with good intentions, by January 3rd these resolutions either fail or falter. So, where did New Years Resolutions start from?

The tradition of making New Year’s Resolutions dates back to the Babylonians, whose most popular resolution was to return borrowed farm equipment!

The tradition of using a baby to signify the new year was begun in Greece around 600 BC. It was their tradition at that time to celebrate their god of wine, Dionysus, by parading a baby in a basket, representing the annual rebirth of that god as the spirit of fertility. Early Egyptians also used a baby as a symbol of rebirth.

The use of an image of a baby with a New Years banner as a symbolic representation of the New Year was brought to early America by the Germans. They had used the effigy since the fourteenth century.

Traditionally, it was thought that one could affect the luck they would have throughout the coming year by what they did or ate on the first day of the year. For that reason, it has become common for people to celebrate the first few minutes of a brand new year in the company of family and friends. Parties often last into the middle of the night after the ringing in of a new year. It was once believed that the first visitor on New Year’s Day would bring either good luck or bad luck the rest of the year. It was particularly lucky if that visitor happened to be a tall dark-haired man.

So what would help us stick to our New Year’s Resolutions? The following strategies have been suggested:

Experts have shown that designing a detailed plan will dramatically increase your success rate. For example, a crew cannot construct a building without a detailed plan. Why should you view your health programme any differently?

Recording-your-personal-baseline
A baseline is a measurement of the existing behaviour and noting when and how often that behaviour occurs before treatment. Examples include, how often and when a person uses tobacco, or eats high calorie foods, or displays outbursts of anger. The baseline measurement of the behaviour will help you set realistic goals and identify future improvement-levels.

Triggers
A trigger is simply anything that causes or increases the likelihood of behaviour. Therefore, if we know when and what is motivating behaviour, we can create future interventions by planning alternative coping mechanisms.

Learn-by-looking-at-your-past
If you have attempted to change your behaviour in the past but have not succeeded, what exactly went wrong? What will be different this time? Therefore, when you previously tried to reach a goal, you should have learned something about yourself and the behaviour, which can be applied, to your new attempt.

Plan-specifically-for-stress-management
Two of the most frequently cited reasons for personal failure are inadequate time management and/or increased levels of stress. Changing behaviour is hard enough without the additional difficulty of trying to balance out work, interpersonal relationships, family, and everyday life situations. Unfortunately, when things get stressful, people often relapse back to their old unhealthy behaviour’s. Knowing this ahead of time, you must plan and prepare strategies for such future events.

Develop-a-support-system-for-your-resolution
Research concludes that the people who succeed at making lifestyle changes typically have exceptional support systems. Consequently, telling others about your goals and objective increases your accountability to the behaviour. From the very start, you should begin by telling those around you about your fitness programme, this way you will increase your likelihood of success by enlisting greater levels of support. This contract will not only increase the support of those around you but it will also make your commitment public and help to convince both you and others that you are serious about this-change.

As part of the strategy explained above, initiate ways to increase the involvement of others in your efforts. For example, you could always lure a friend into joining and committing to behaviour with you. Having someone to work-out with or quit smoking with can drastically boost your success rate. No matter if it a spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, roommate, co- worker, or even an acquaintance, being accountable to someone other than yourself-will-help-to-keep-you-on-track.

The-programme-for-success-and-maintenance
With any new venture or attempt it is imperative to have the right mental attitude. For instance, winners always have the mindset that their goals are possible and within reach. Not everyone has this positive outlook, but it can be improved through both positive self-talk and visualization. Thus, you must visualize yourself already achieving your new lifestyle. You must develop a mental image of who you want to become and then act as if you are that person. See yourself as a non-smoker, as a fit & healthy person.

Reward-yourself-frequently
Starting an exercise regime can be physically and mentally draining, with few immediate results. An effective coping method would be to link an alternate activity that you find personally rewarding with your exercises. Therefore, you should find something to look forward to that can be combined or achieved with your exercise programme. Choose something that makes you feel intrinsically great about your exercise commitment and you will increase you chances of success. Whether it is a deserving massage, hot tub, or a satisfying healthy meal, your behaviour needs reinforcement so you can feel good about your-effort.

Provide-a-Visual-Record
Another way to increase your success and motivation is to keep a visual record of your accomplishments. This can be done by simply writing on a calendar or using a daily progress chart. : Although, most people today choose to track their achievements and setbacks by writing in a daily journal. The journal works because it further holds you accountable to your daily behaviours. Therefore, if you write about your efforts, then you are more likely to follow through on your goals.

We all need a “Pat on the back” from time to time.  This may be someone saying ‘Thanks’ or, ‘I’m glad you’re here’ or ‘You did a really great job’.  Recognition and appreciation are a wonderful boost to our self-esteem.

It has been shown that people have an inherent need to be recognised, and that recognition is a stronger motivator than money.

Take the workforce for instance.  One recognition survey found that 90% of employees stated  “Receiving recognition motivates me to improve my job performance”.  Yet only 47% of those surveyed said “My manager provides ample and effective recognition”

Recognition means honouring, encouraging and supporting individuals and teams who contribute through their behaviour and their actions to the success of the organisation.

People often look for things to criticise rather than compliment.  Scientists have confirmed that we are hard-wired to notice bad things (It’s called the Negativity Bias)

It seems the majority of us don’t give or receive anywhere near the amount of praise that we should.  As a result, we’re much less productive, and in many cases, disengaged from our jobs.  The bottom line is that praise and recognition of employees is good for business.  Individuals who receive regular praise and recognition are more productive, are more likely to be loyal to an organisation longer, have better safety records and fewer accidents on the job and regularly receive higher scores from customers.

Just think how you feel when you receive a genuine compliment – you may experience a genuine glow, you may break into a smile.  A sincere word of thanks from the right person at the right time can mean more to an employee than a raise, a formal award or a wall full of certificates.

So …  recognition and praise is something that you can do, and should do, every day, not just on special occasions.  It doesn’t have to cost money or take a lot of time.  A simple ‘Thank you’ is often all that is required.

Recent research has found that around 75% of Britons feel constantly tired, and a number of people, often without realising it, are battling with persistent low grade exhaustion due to lack of sleep or poor quality sleep.

Some experts blame the fact on our 24 hour society, and trying to cram more into our days, without realising the importance of sleep.

There are five stages of sleep.  Stage one is when the brain waves become less regular and are reduced in amplitude.  Stage two is characterised by the appearance of spindles – short runs of rhythmical responses of 12 to 16 hertz.  Stage three and four are characterised by slow waves (2-3 hertz), which are known as delta waves.  Stages 1-4 are known as NREM sleep. The fifth stage is known as REM sleep.  During REM sleep, very rapid eye movements occur in bursts lasting 10 to 20 seconds.

Both NREM and REM serve a restorative, replenishing function.  NREM restores bodily processes which have deteriorated during the day, while REM sleep is a time for replenishing and renewing brain processes through the stimulation of protein synthesis.

It seems that the importance of sleep is completely underestimated, despite the fact it is vital for good emotional and physical health.  As a result, we seem to live in a ‘tired’ society.  There aren’t many people who can claim to feel really good and refreshed after a night’s sleep, as it seems that most people complain of lack of sleep, or poor quality sleep.

The effects of a lack of sleep  can lead to iritability, a lowered immune system and depression.

The best thing to do is to get a routine each night which will help you get in a mood for sleep.  Ideally eat three or four hours before bedtime.  Switch off the computer and the mobile and don’t have them in the bedroom.  Pay attention to the body’s sleep signals.  Most of us stay up yawning and dozing in front of the TV when we should be in bed.

Having a stiff drink of alcohol before bed may help put you to sleep, but it disturbs the sleep cycle and can cause you to wake up early the next day.  In addition, stay away from caffeinated drinks like coffee or cola for several hours before bedtime.  Caffeine works as a stimulant even on those people who claim they are not affected by it, and the body needs four to five hours to halve the amount of caffeine in the bloodstream at any one time.

Take a look at the sleep research by Dr Stanley, called ‘Making Time For Sleep’ on www.horlicks.co.uk

Challenge your comfort zone and see how brilliant you feel once you have achieved something you never dreamed possible.

Take a parachute jump
Touch a snake or spider
Sing some karaoke in a public bar
Do a bungee jump

You see, you can do anything if you try.

Do Something You Have Never Done Before

It is very easy to stop trying new things – we feel too old or not ready for change or cannot be bothered.  Well, try something new and see how it changes you for the best.

Go to the theatre
Eat snails
Make a cake
Draw a picture
Jump in a puddle

Have a go – and teach the old dog a new trick.

I would like to share with you an excerpt from an excellent book (Stop Thinking Start Living) by Richard Carlson, which basically states that to be happy, you must make a commitment to happiness.

‘Happiness is a moment-to-moment choice that each of us makes. In order to be happy, you must first decide to be happy. You must make a commitment to happiness.

It’s important to know that commitment to learning the art of happiness is not exactly what it seems to be at first glance. Most people make the mistake of confusing commitment to happiness with the decision to make their life better in some way. Although these two ideas seem related, they are not necessarily so. As you have probably noticed, you can change everything in your life without affecting your level of happiness one single bit. You can earn more money, get yourself out of trouble, meet new friends, get a new job, solve a problem, get a degree, get married, or acquire something you have always wanted, yet still feel unsatisfied. The reason for this is that happiness exists independently of your circumstances; it’s a feeling that you can learn to live in.

When you make a commitment to happiness, you are in effect saying: ‘There is so much in life that I can’t control – the world, other people and their choices and reactions, accidents, imperfections, suffering, hardships. Yet this is my life and regardless of what happens, I’m going to be happy.’

Whenever you attach conditions to your happiness you won’t experience it. The same mental process that attaches your happiness to a specific outcome will only repeat that pattern once that outcome is obtained. A person who believes that ‘having children’ will make her happy will then create new conditions to be met once the children arrive. She may then believe that she will be happy when the infant stage is over, or the terrible two’s, or when she has enough money to meet her growing family’s needs. Your commitment to happiness itself allows you to let go of all your preconditions. Instead of having conditions, you say to yourself: ‘No matter how difficult it seems, I’m going to practice the mental process that will lead me to happiness.’

Being happy isn’t always easy. In fact, it can be one of the great challenges in life. True maturity means taking responsibility for our own happiness – right now. It means choosing to concentrate on what we have instead of what we lack.

Commitment is the first step in allowing you to regain the positive feelings that you are looking for. Most of us believe that by solving our problems, or improving our relationships, we will find contentment, but this means that our happiness must be postponed until some further date when those conditions are met. Commitment is a step towards bringing that future to the present.

Happiness is the result of a decision to be happy. You may believe that you will one day arrive at a place called happiness, that one day everything will fall into place and you will be able to say: ‘Great, here I am. I’ve made it to happiness land.’ Obviously, this isn’t going to happen. Regardless of how good your life gets and how many of your dreams come true, you will still have to make the decision to be happy. You will still have to make the commitment. There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way!’

I have just returned from a very enjoyable trip to Thailand.  I visited the Grand Palace and the temple of the Emerald Buddha, plus the floating market whilst in Bangkok.  The rest of my trip was spent down on the coast at Cha-Am and Hua-Hin.

What struck me was the pleasantness, kindness and gentleness of the people.  95% of the population in Thailand are Buddhists, so I thought I would share some of the Buddhists beliefs with you here:

THE FOUR NOBLE TRUTHS

Once there was a woman named Kisagotami, whose first-born son died. She was so stricken with grief that she roamed the streets carrying the dead body and asking for help to bring her son back to life. A kind and wise man took her to the Buddha.

The Buddha told her, “Fetch me a handful of mustard seeds and I will bring your child back to life.” Joyfully Kisagotami started off to get them. Then the Buddha added, “But the seeds must come from a family that has not known death.”

Kisagotami went from door to door in the whole village asking for the mustard seeds, but everyone said, “Oh, there have been many deaths here”, “I lost my father”, I lost my sister”. She could not find a single household that had not been visited by death. Finally Kisagotami returned to the Buddha and said, “There is death in every family. Everyone dies. Now I understand your teaching.”

The Buddha said, “No one can escape death and unhappiness. If people expect only happiness in life, they will be disappointed.”

Things are not always the way we want them to be, but we can learn to understand them. When we get sick, we go to a doctor and ask:

What’s wrong with me?

Why am I sick?

What will cure me?

What do I have to do get well?

The Buddha is like a good doctor. First a good doctor diagnoses the illness. Next he finds out what has caused it. Then he decides what the cure is. Finally he prescribes the medicine or gives the treatment that will make the patient well again.

The Four Noble Truths

1. There is Suffering. Suffering is common to all.
2. Cause of Suffering. We are the cause of our suffering.
3. End of Suffering. Stop doing what causes suffering.
4. Path to end Suffering. Everyone can be enlightened.

1. Suffering: Everyone suffers from these thing
Birth- When we are born, we cry.
Sickness- When we are sick, we are miserable.
Old age- When old, we will have ache and pains and find it hard to get around.
Death- None of us wants to die. We feel deep sorrow when someone dies.

Other things we suffer from are:
Being with those we dislike,
Being apart from those we love,
Not getting what we want,
All kinds of problems and disappointments that are unavoidable.

The Buddha did not deny that there is happiness in life, but he pointed out it does not last forever. Eventually everyone meets with some kind of suffering. He said:
“There is happiness in life,
happiness in friendship,
happiness of a family,
happiness in a healthy body and mind,
…but when one loses them, there is suffering.”
Dhammapada

2. The cause of suffering
The Buddha explained that people live in a sea of suffering because of ignorance and greed. They are ignorant of the law of karma and are greedy for the wrong kind of pleasures. They do things that are harmful to their bodies and peace of mind, so they can not be satisfied or enjoy life.

For example, once children have had a taste of candy, they want more. When they can’t have it, they get upset. Even if children get all the candy they want, they soon get tired of it and want something else. Although, they get a stomach-ache from eating too much candy, they still want more. The things people want most cause them the most suffering. Of course, there are basic things that all people should have, like adequate food, shelter, and clothing. Everyone deserve a good home, loving parents, and good friends. They should enjoy life and cherish their possessions without becoming greedy.

3. The end of suffering
To end suffering, one must cut off greed and ignorance. This means changing one’s views and living in a more natural and peaceful way. It is like blowing out a candle. The flame of suffering is put out for good. Buddhists call the state in which all suffering is ended Nirvana. Nirvana is an everlasting state of great joy and peace. The Buddha said, “The extinction of desire is Nirvana.” This is the ultimate goal in Buddhism. Everyone can realize it with the help of the Buddha’s teachings. It can be experienced in this very life.

4. The path to the end of suffering: The path to end suffering is known as the Noble Eightfold Path. It is also known as the Middle Way.

THE NOBLE EIGHTFOLD PATH

When the Buddha gave his first sermon in the Deer Park, he began the ‘Turning of the Dharma Wheel’. He chose the beautiful symbol of the wheel with its eight spokes to represent the Noble Eightfold Path. The Buddha’s teaching goes round and round like a great wheel that never stops, leading to the central point of the wheel, the only point which is fixed, Nirvana. The eight spokes on the wheel represent the eight parts of the Noble Eightfold Path. Just as every spoke is needed for the wheel to keep turning, we need to follow each step of the path.

1. Right View. The right way to think about life is to see the world through the eyes of the Buddha–with wisdom and compassion.

2. Right Thought. We are what we think. Clear and kind thoughts build good, strong characters.

3. Right Speech. By speaking kind and helpful words, we are respected and trusted by everyone.

4. Right Conduct. No matter what we say, others know us from the way we behave. Before we criticize others, we should first see what we do ourselves.

5. Right Livelihood. This means choosing a job that does not hurt others. The Buddha said, “Do not earn your living by harming others. Do not seek happiness by making others unhappy.”

6. Right Effort. A worthwhile life means doing our best at all times and having good will toward others. This also means not wasting effort on things that harm ourselves and others.

7. Right Mindfulness. This means being aware of our thoughts, words, and deeds.

8. Right Concentration. Focus on one thought or object at a time. By doing this, we can be quiet and attain true peace of mind.

Following the Noble Eightfold Path can be compared to cultivating a garden, but in Buddhism one cultivates one’s wisdom. The mind is the ground and thoughts are seeds. Deeds are ways one cares for the garden. Our faults are weeds. Pulling them out is like weeding a garden. The harvest is real and lasting happiness.
(online.sfsu.edu/~rone/Buddhism/footsteps.htm)